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Story Notes:

Some of this will only make sense to us, but here it is. :)

Written for Lise, the Wonder Beta. Her 'corrections' are in bold since I couldn't do red. Strikethroughs are italicized.

Splv and I had a blast writing this. HUGE thanks to Gates Hepburn for her wonderful photoshopping skills.



Happy BRAD Day 2009, Lise! <3




Ensigns Splv and CF stood together in front of the holodeck doors, with equally stupid expressions on their equally confused faces. 


"thank you so much for looking this over!" sighed CF. "as usual, im having trouble writing the ending of this report, and Lt. elem needs to see it in time to make any final changes before Captain SiRia needs it in."


"It's great! I love it!" Ensign Splv said, encouragingly.


"You think so? Really?"


Ensign Splv nodded, even more encouraginglyly.


"thx  :)  Is yours done?" CF continued tapping nonsensical smiley signals into the PADD in her hand, much to the distraction of the convo (watch your vernacular) at hand.


"Mine's been done for ages," Splv said as she entered a code onto the holodeck control panel (do you mean control grid, or maybe access panel?).


The doors slid open.


"great! how'd you get us in so quickly?"


"Well, I had to insert some technobabble here, and a bit more there, and ...."


"OK, you've lost me." *yawn* "Let's go figure this out, all right."


Walking into the centre of the holodeck, Ensign Splv ordered, "Mall'o'Merica, Food Court, circa 2009."


After their favourite haunt, The Talking Taco, shimmered into existence, the two ensigns made their way to it and sat down.


"OK, let's go over this again," began Ensign Splv. "You're writing a report on the interpersonal relationships aboard Starship VAMB, and you've been reviewing ALL the log entries in sequence?!"


"yeah, i got as far as the incident with tuvix, and got kind of stuck in it."


Ensign Splv's face scrunched with unease (disgust?). "What exactly do you mean by ‘stuck'?"


"well," Ensign CF sighed theatrically, "my report doesn't quite mesh with the incidents as they took place. i've documented everything, but I just feel like soemthing is missing. i just really want to get more into tuvok's head, u know?"


"Well," Ensign Splv sighed equally theatrically (thus providing Lt. Elem with a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate her ability to pick out repetitive repetitive phrases), "how can I help with that?"


"I want to interface the report on this PADD with the official logs and you know where the technobabble fits in."


"Technobabble? Is that what went on in Undeniable?"


"Unbelievable. You havent actually watched the show, have you?" CF rolled her eyes, even though that particular smiley didn't work in that medium.


"Nooooo, but I know who could help with that. She comes through for me." Splv looked mighty pleased, even though that particular smiley didn't work either.


CF/Vick nodded approvingly. "good idea!" They high-fived and another opportunity for Lt. Elem to shine was borne.




Several intense (why intense? it wasn't set up as intense above... ) moments later, their plan was ready to put into place.


"Computer, on my marc.." droned CF.


"You mean mark," detailed Splv.


"no, I mean marc. he's french.... but whatever. computer, when I say go, initiate a complete data link up between the tuvix characters and the subject 

matter contained in this PADD. now."


Nothing happened.


*headdesk* thought CF.






Several more intense moments later (this wasn't intense either), both ensigns began to stir. They felt gross, and took several moments before opening their eyes.


*ping* you there? queried Splv.


"oh my aching head!" CF whined, with great practice. "i feel like Lt. elem after she's had drinkies with her friends...."


"Oooh, that bad? *ugh* :(


Both lay/lied quietly for a few moments, cataloguing their various aches and pains.


"this is total weirdness," commented CF, "but I do feel like I understand tuvok better. it's like i can hear what he's thinking..."






"So sorry," Ensign Splv answered melodically, patting her belly with splayed fingers. "I was just thinking the same about Mr. Neelix. He's quite an interesting character. Or, he could be, I suppose, if he was drawn better..."


Ensign CF shook her head slowly, and decided it was time to open her eyes.




Both ensigns jumped to their feet, then ROTFL BWAHAHA LOL BWAHAHA LOL :D :D :D




"I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure Ensign Hepburn had something to do with this. We'll need to run a full diagnostic to make sure the good ship VAMB has not permanently effected our sanity."


"ensign CF to the doctor."


"Yes," sighed the doctor theatrically, since he too loves Lt. Elem's work.


"Doctor, please come to holodeck 47. Ensign Splv and I have a problem."




After the doctor opened his GameBoy/cell phone and waved it through the air around the ensigns, he determined that they were fine, and that he would be able to cure them as soon as BRAD day was over.


They were so happy, they tried to hug him, but he would have none of it, so they hugged each other, just as the doc hit the ‘photo' button.




Threats of decompiling were enough to keep all evidence tamped down repressed. It is only now, as you open this email containing this artefact of great historical value, that you see what really happened on this day. It is in your hands to protect their great legacy (lunacy?), as shown below.


To the bestest beta ever.


The ugly mugs of TuVick and Speelix


Chapter End Notes:



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