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J/C belong to Paramount.  Anybody else belongs to me.

  "Perhaps there is a powerful being who will embrace me and give me the answers I seek...."

  

   Ally found herself in a forest clearing ... a familiar place, for she had been here before.

  

     "What sprit do you seek?" asked a disembodied voice that swirled with the oncoming mist.

  

     "My father, Chakotay," she said confidently.

  

      "I'm here, Ally," the familiar voice echoed. She turned to see her father appear in the mist.  And though she could not touch him, just seeing him brought her peace.

  

      His appearance had changed since her last visit  ... he was younger ... actually, younger than she could ever remember.

  

     "How are you, Papa?" she asked anxiously.

  

      He smiled. "Fine, but I don't think you came to chat."

  

      She nodded. "I wanted ... I needed to tell you something," she said.  "Rich and I are having a baby!"

  

      "That's wonderful! Boy or girl?" he beamed, then sobered as he watched her face. "Is everything all right with the baby?"

  

      "She's fine ..."

  

       "A girl, then. Good! Aren't you and Rich happy about this?"

  

       "Rich is ecstatic.  I'm happy. I really am," she said as the tears began to flow. "I just can't help being upset that she'll never know you."

  

        Chakotay nodded as he sat on a nearby rock, and motioned for her to sit, too.  "I understand, sweetheart.  Your mother and I felt the same way when Edward came along.  In fact, I went on a vision quest to tell my father."

  

      "What did he say?" Ally asked as she wiped away the tears.

  

       "He told me this:  'The baby will know me through you.' So we told you and Edward about your grandfathers.  And you'll do the same for your daughter. Your mother and brother will tell her their stories, too."

   

       Ally sighed. "That's sweet, Papa.   But I doubt Mom will be telling her any stories ... she's too busy with your replacement."

  

    "He's not a replacement," Chakotay interrupted softly. "You don't understand your mother's heart."

  

     Her mouth dropped open.  "You ... you know?"

  

    Chakotay chuckled. "Of course, your mother's not one for vision quests. But she does talk to me. Said she hoped I'd understand.  And I do."

  

    "I certainly don't understand," Ally said, near tears. "First she takes that posting in Paris. Now a boyfriend ...”

  

      "Your mother took a year's leave to care for me," he said firmly. "Afterwards, you and Edward had your own lives.  And work," he added pointedly, "is how she copes."

  

     "I just feel that she abandoned us."

  

      "She's as close as a transporter station, and a vid screen. It doesn't help that you won't talk to her," he chided.  "I'm guessing you haven't told her about the baby."

  

      Ally shook her head.   "Thought so," Chakotay replied. He sighed and propped his chin on his hand. "Ally, it's been two years. All this anger toward your mother isn't good for either of you. Are you angry with her for going back to work, or for wanting companionship?  Or are you really angry with me for dying?"

  

     In spite of herself, Ally burst into tears. "Papa, you've missed so much."

  

     "Ally," Chakotay replied softly, "we all die.  And frankly, I'm happy not to be in pain anymore."

  

       He ran a hand through his hair. "I had a good life.  I had 40 years with your mother.  And I had you and Edward, and Edward's son. Many people don't get that much."

  

     He stood and took a step toward her. "There is more ahead for me, Ally. Wonderful things.  But you need to know that you're preventing me from experiencing them."

  

     Ally stood up, shocked. "What? What am I keeping you from?"

  

    He tugged on his ear as he tried to form the words.  "There are different planes here, different experiences. Once we know that our loved ones are all right, we can begin exploring those things.  Your mother and brother are moving on.  But you're not.  And until you do, I can't move on."

  

        "I'm ... I'm sorry Papa. I had no idea," she said.

  

      "No one does until they get here," he said.  "Ally, I know you're in pain, and it hurts me.  It hurts your mother, and Rich."

  

      "Don't tell me Rich is talking to you, too."

    

      He chuckled again. "No, just your mother. She says they've tried to get you into counseling, and you won't go."

  

     "I don't need counseling."

    

      Chakotay shook his head. "You're definitely your mother's daughter."

  

       "What?"

  

      "She's faced depression, too, Ally.  And, like you, she refused help."

  

      Ally looked at him, stunned. "Really? When?"

       "Ask her," Chakotay urged. "She understands more than you give her credit for."  

     

  

      "Papa, I miss you. I just need to know ... I need to know that I can see you."

   

      "You can talk to me any time you want, Ally. I may not answer, but I promise that I will hear you, just as I hear your mother and brother. Those connections never die."

      

     The mist began to swirl again, and her father began to fade from view. 

  

     "Papa!"

   

     "I can't stay, Ally," he said softly.  "And I can't walk this path with you.  Promise me that you'll talk to a counselor.  If not for yourself ... do it for your little girl."

  

    "I'll try, Papa." she said uncertainly.

  

    He smiled. "I love you Ally.  Remember that."

  

    "I love you, too, Papa," she said as he disappeared.

   *** 

    Kathryn Janeway was reading reports when her vid chirped.  "Admiral," her adjutant said. "Your daughter is on the line."

  

    A mixture of relief and apprehension settled in Kathryn's gut as she opened the transmission.  Their last conversation had ended badly....

  

    Ally's face appeared on the screen, her expression uncertain.

  

     "Is everything all right, honey?" Kathryn asked, preparing herself for bad news.

  

     "I wanted to tell you that I talked to Papa in a vision quest a few weeks ago."

  

      "Oh? How is he?" she asked, the words slipping out before she could stop them.

  

       Ally swallowed. "Fine.  He said you've been talking to him."

  

      Kathryn inhaled sharply; she'd never told her children about those visits to the cemetery.  "Old habits, I guess," she finally said, trying to keep her tone light. "Talk about anything in particular?"

  

      Ally shrugged. "I had something to tell him. Let's just say he set me straight on a few things.  I've been seeing that counselor you suggested."

  

       Kathryn sighed in relief. "I'm glad, honey."

  

       "Papa also suggested I ask you about something."

  

       "What's that?"

  

        She could see Ally swallow hard, and her gut constricted again.  "Actually, I was hoping you could come to Oregon soon.  We could talk while we shopped ... or after."

  

        "I'd like that," Kathryn said, her gut loosening. "Need a new wardrobe?"

  

        "I will," Ally said with a grin that reminded her of Chakotay.   “But I thought you'd like to help decorate your granddaughter's nursery.”

        

       

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